i guess it's that time again to reflect on past mistakes and make your propositions for the upcoming year. most of last year sucked, to put it delicately. i've done enough reflection on that shit, that's who i am, introspective as hell. looking ahead isn't always the best either. i tend to throw myself in face first, get discouraged when it's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am and buck out like a pussy before the damage gets too deep. so where does that leave me?
i guess i've let all of my goals go to shit and i'm pretty much back to square uno, in almost every aspect of my life. the most pressing of all of those blank spaces is work. it's staring me right in the eyeball, taunting me. something's gotta change, pronto tonto. the struggle won't be worse than the shit i dug through last year, so that's a bit of a relief, i guess the doubt is what's making me puss out. i'm making too big of a deal of all of it. i'm being too ideological. i guess that's who i am though: the introspective idealist.
so what do i do? do i go back to slinging shit to people i could give a fuck about and dealing with other people's bullshit on a regular basis while pursuing something that could land me on my ass, or do i put up with that same crap in my current situation? biggest problem, i think too highly of myself. i always think i'm better than that. guess it's not always a bad thing, but when it doesn't kick you in the ass, it makes you lethargic.
so raise your sloppy highball with me, here's to bigger and better things- as long as they don't land me up in jail or under the dirt- it's all a ball of twine-
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